Love is a word that is often thrown around in today’s culture, much like joy and kindness. These words are now used in advertising to stir positive subconscious association with memories connected to the emotions. However, love, much like joy and kindness are not simply emotions; love, joy, and kindness are found within actions. Love is found in the actions each person takes towards another person, subject, or thing. Love is the affection a person has and acts upon through behavioral actions. This is why Jesus Christ gave the commandment in Mark 12.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all of your soul, with all of your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” – Mark 12:30-31

            Love also has boundaries that Paul wrote about in 1 Corinthians chapter 13. In that chapter, the meaning of love is addressed on several levels.

Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is a powerful thing. However, to love correctly is extremely hard. Love requires patience, selflessness, kindness, self-control, goodness, faithfulness, and even gentleness. The reason it is important to remember these things is because children watch, hear, and learn from the behaviors or boundaries of a child’s parent. Children also watch how a parent takes accountability or defers accountability, especially when boundaries are tested.

            Often times, children will ask for something that a parent needs the self-discipline to say ‘no’ to, Saying no to a child is critical, especially if it is something that can be damaging to the child’s health or growth into adulthood. The first example that came to mind when writing this was candy. It is wonderful to give children good things and even treats, yet too much candy is not good for their health and can become harmful. Though parents want to give children good things, too much of anything without boundaries that teach self-control can become harmful and have devastating life consequences.

Life without boundaries is extremely dangerous and destroys people. Boundaries are necessary in life. Boundaries exist in every society, culture, and social setting. Boundaries are critical to teach children so that a child will understand the difference between right and wrong. If a child wants to do something dangerous, ‘no’ and the explanation as to the reason why become critical teaching moments. Simply saying ‘no’ without explanation often leads children to not understand the reason why something can be dangerous or harmful.

Though children need to be obedient to parents; it is a parent’s job to discipline, guide and instruct by explaining the boundary and the reason why something can be detrimental. For many children, boundaries constantly need to be reestablished and reinforced in order for the expectations to be made clear; which requires time and ongoing patience as a child grows. Children learn by asking questions and testing boundaries to learn what is acceptable or unacceptable. It is a parent’s job to teach the boundaries of what is acceptable and what is unacceptable by living out those boundaries through the parents actions and reactions to a child. The greatest way to teach healthy boundaries is by living by the boundaries established by God Word.

            Boundaries of what is right and wrong or good vs bad is a way that shows and teaches children what healthy love is. Love has boundaries. God also has boundaries for each person. God lays out the foundations of what is acceptable and what is not; because God knows each person’s weaknesses. Each individual person has different challenges and struggles that only God fully understands. God gave His laws and boundaries to protect each person from themselves.

In order to establish any form of a boundary with children, parents have to follow and respect the same boundary as well. Children watch a parent’s behaviors, children daily see how each parents establish boundaries for them and how a parent lives out those out through a parents actions. The boundaries that are set must be respected through the parent’s actions in order for a child to understand and respect a boundary. This yet another reason why loving discipline gains and teaches respectful boundaries.

            By a parent acknowledging the parent’s own shortcomings to a child, it is a reflection and lesson for a child to see and hear obedience through observing a parent responds. God corrects and disciplines adults just as much as children. To apologize for a mishandled situation with a child, shows a child what accountability of personal actions looks like, repentance through apologizing, and a changed heart by changing an incorrect or negative behavior. This is another part of establishing boundaries, by teaching accountability and responsibility through a parent’s actions if a boundary has been crossed, so the child can learn the importance of accountability and responsibility. Teach a child by showing a child, not only telling, but through actions.

To be a Christian is an ongoing process, in which God is constantly disciplining and correcting those God loves. Any Christian parent can rejoice in those moments when God is working through the parent to help teach a child more about His ways. Only Jesus Christ was perfect; every other Christian is a part of God’s ongoing work in progress as we all learn and grow. This is why each person needs God’s guidance daily through prayer and time in God’s Word. This is but another example of why each person needs Jesus Christ, because every human being is imperfect.

To learn and be obedient to God’s ways is no easy feat for anyone; but for a Christian, it is a conscious, faith-driven choice, and gladly taken task to try and to love Jesus Christ and others better each day. To love someone else means to put aside personal desires, personal ambitions, and to put aside self. To love someone else means to put away self, to put away pride, and instead to love selflessly through humility. Parents make sacrifices for their children out of love. It is a joy to love; but to love means to sacrifice, to be selfless, to have self-control, and to seek after and learn God’s boundaries, God’s ways, through God’s laws.

            In a world obsessed with self-love, self-care, and self in general; disconnecting from the self becomes even more critical. That is why the Holy Bible commands Christian’s to die to self, so that Christ may live through us. Jesus Christ lives through each Christian when that person sets aside themselves and becomes obedient to Jesus Christ. This takes effort and is a lifelong ongoing process. It takes conscious, self-sacrificing effort to give up the self-driven aspects of our own lives, in order for Jesus Christ’s love to live through each Christian by how he or she loves. God’s love is found in God’s boundaries. God’s ways are always good, because God is always good.

            Instead of looking at correction or God’s discipline and guidance as a negative; see those things as a sign of God’s love. Children need discipline and guidance in order to grow. God disciplines those He loves as it says so in the book of Proverbs.

My Son, do not despise the LORD’S discipline,

or be weary of his reproof,

for the LORD reproves him whom he loves,

as a father the son in whom he delights.

Proverbs 3:11-12

Teaching each child God’s love through Jesus Christ, God’s laws, and God’s boundaries is the most loving thing any parent can do for any child. Raising up a child to trust in the LORD is to love a child.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths.

Be not wise in your own eyes;

fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.

It will be healing to your flesh

and refreshment to your bones.

Proverbs 3;5-8

            Love does have boundaries. The path to life through Jesus Christ is the narrow way with boundaries that surround the way. Setting healthy boundaries in accordance to God’s Word is the most loving thing a parent can do for a child. God loves each person enough to give each individual boundaries in the Holy Bible. It is each parent’s responsibility to love his or hers own child enough to give a child God’s boundaries. It is through loving the Lord, teaching through loving discipline, which leads to correction and guidance as well. God’s boundaries are to give each person life through Jesus Christ. God’s boundaries are truly loving. God’s love is found in the laws and boundaries He laid out for those who seek Him in the Holy Bible. God’s ways are perfect.